~I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut.--Revelation 3:8~

This Month's Thoughts for:

Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.

Psalm 43:3 NIV

Body-Now that all of the holiday celebrations are nearly over, it's time to look at taking care of ourselves. If you haven't already been, you need to find the right balance in life so that you can have time for exercise and to strengthen yourself.

Mind-Whether you're a student or a graduate, it's never too late to learn something new. Keep your eyes and ears open so that you may find guidance through God's word.

Spirit-Take time each day to pray and talk to God. He hears you.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Where is your loyalty?

I have never understood why women stay with abusive partners. I was just at the grocery and I was reading the front covers of the various magazines that were covering the Rihanna/Chris Brown issue. I cannot believe that this incredibly popular young woman is having any trouble deciding whether or not she should leave this young man.

We've all heard the stories about women who say that they simply cannot leave their husbands or boyfriends even if they are being physically and/or emotionally abused. My first thought is always, "Why?" These women either truly believe that they love the abuser and shouldn't leave them out of some sense of duty or loyalty or they simply don't know what steps to take to get away. This is one of the reasons why I started this blog; to share ideas that will help women make decisions that will push them toward happier and healthier living.

As a woman who was once a victim of sexual assault, there was never any question as to how close I would let my attacker get to me after the incident. As a matter of fact, I dared him to approach me for any reason. I'm not saying that staying frighteningly angry about the incident is the best way to deal with it. Although anger was a huge part of my life for a while, I learned that it wasn't the best way to move on. What I am saying is that a woman must first be loyal to herself and to her right to live life in a safe environment where she can grow and succeed at whatever she wants to do. When you start being more loyal to yourself and your right to be happy, you naturally start to move away from those who wish to do you harm and gravitate toward what will help you live a better life.

What have you done for yourself lately to show that you are loyal to being your own wonderful woman? Tell me about it here.

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L. Diane Wolfe said...

One of the co-authors of my upcoming non-fiction title wrote a book called "Women Submit! Christians and Domestic Violence." She also founded Hungrey Hearts Ministry - http://hungryheartsministries.com/
Jocelyn's story is incredible and it might answer a few of those questions you raised.
Because I cannot imagine staying in such a situation...

L. Diane Wolfe

Rebecca said...

Thanks for this great information, Diane!

Good for You!

Good for You!
Tips on healthy living, healthy loving and healthy habits!

Healthy Relationships: Where do you fit in?

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12 New International Version

In relationships, we are all put to the test in one way or another. Whether we are being taught a lesson in trusting others or in learning to love selflessly, we must always be on the lookout for signs that the enemy is lurking nearby. Sometimes what we think might be one of God's tests for us is actually our own ego struggling to overpower His influence in our lives.

If you are fighting constantly over the same issues with your significant other, take a step back and ask yourself, "What would God want me to do here?" It could be that He wants you to take enough pride in yourself to stand up for your right to be respected in the relationship. Maybe you need to step up and express your dissatisfaction with the way you are being treated in order to make your loved one understand what you need. Or maybe you are with someone who is treating you unfairly and God wants you to guard your heart.

If your usual tendency is to run away from a relationship when you aren't 100% satisfied with the other person's behavior, this could be an indicator that you aren't being realistic in your expectations. No one is perfect and learning to love one another's flaws as well as one's gifts is part of a healthy relationship.

A great resource for you to check out if you are having difficulty sustaining relationships is "Safe People" by Townsend and Cloud. I am currently going through a Bible Study with some ladies and we are using this book as our guide. There is alot of great information about boundaries and how to identify traits in others who may be unsafe for us. If you get a chance, check this one out.

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