~I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut.--Revelation 3:8~

This Month's Thoughts for:

Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.

Psalm 43:3 NIV

Body-Now that all of the holiday celebrations are nearly over, it's time to look at taking care of ourselves. If you haven't already been, you need to find the right balance in life so that you can have time for exercise and to strengthen yourself.

Mind-Whether you're a student or a graduate, it's never too late to learn something new. Keep your eyes and ears open so that you may find guidance through God's word.

Spirit-Take time each day to pray and talk to God. He hears you.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Empowerment=Respect for other women as well as for yourself

Over the years, I've talked alot about empowerment. I believe that we should take every opportunity to try and help one another to be our best selves. I believe that women especially need to do the work on their self-esteem to keep them motivated and working toward personal goals. I also believe, however; that an empowered woman and a confident woman can sometimes be a dangerous thing. I unfortunately have seen evidence that some empowered women are very effective and successful, but to an end that is disempowering to others.

Let me explain this a bit further. When we get to a point where we are confident in our abilities, acknowledging of our strengths and feeling good about ourselves we shouldn't confuse our ability to attract things into our lives with having a right to all that comes into our line of sight. Some of us believe if something appears in our lives that it is meant to be there. Sometimes, however; it is a test. Of our moral fiber, our character and of our love for our fellow human being. Earlier today, I blogged about women who cannot seem to keep boundaries when it comes to dating or having affairs with married men. This is a subject near and dear to my heart. Sadly, I wholeheartedly believe that even an empowered woman; one who has had to scratch and claw her way through obstacles her whole life, has the potential to make a bad decision where relationships are concerned.

Women tend to fly under the radar when it comes to infidelity. If a woman is sleeping with a married man, almost 100% of the time, the scrutiny for the offense is placed on the married man. Granted, he certainly has a cross to bear in that situation, but his cohort shouldn't walk away unscathed. It takes two to tango and while he has broken more than a piece of the moral code, she has also shown little regard for her fellow woman and for the family that this man may have created with his spouse. The man's responsibility in this situation is different, but he doesn't necessarily play a more significant role in the act than that of the woman who willingly participates.

I don't often turn on women like this, but I have to say that I just don't know how a woman can live with knowing that she is partaking of this type of "forbidden fruit." This is especially sad in situations where women who are trying to fix their marriages have husbands who still haven't quite committed to the idea of making it work. She may be trusting that he will change his ways, but the very fact that there are so many women out there who are willing to mess around lessens the seriousness of the offense in the eyes of the offender.

As women, we need to be very careful who we are willing to spend our time with. Is he really available or is he just playing around? The best policy is to look for a man who is not fresh out of a marriage or other long-term relationship. But if you absolutely insist, at least find out why the last relationship ended before you make yourself available to him. And for God's sake, make sure that the relationship really did end. Don't just take his word for it because he is paying attention to you and he seems like a nice guy. He probably seemed like a nice guy to his wife, too.

If you are lucky enough to be in a relationship with someone who isn't cheating or hasn't cheated on you, that's wonderful. Count your blessings. Lots of women aren't so fortunate. Ladies, let's keep reaching for Higher Ground.

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Tips on healthy living, healthy loving and healthy habits!

Healthy Relationships: Where do you fit in?

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12 New International Version

In relationships, we are all put to the test in one way or another. Whether we are being taught a lesson in trusting others or in learning to love selflessly, we must always be on the lookout for signs that the enemy is lurking nearby. Sometimes what we think might be one of God's tests for us is actually our own ego struggling to overpower His influence in our lives.

If you are fighting constantly over the same issues with your significant other, take a step back and ask yourself, "What would God want me to do here?" It could be that He wants you to take enough pride in yourself to stand up for your right to be respected in the relationship. Maybe you need to step up and express your dissatisfaction with the way you are being treated in order to make your loved one understand what you need. Or maybe you are with someone who is treating you unfairly and God wants you to guard your heart.

If your usual tendency is to run away from a relationship when you aren't 100% satisfied with the other person's behavior, this could be an indicator that you aren't being realistic in your expectations. No one is perfect and learning to love one another's flaws as well as one's gifts is part of a healthy relationship.

A great resource for you to check out if you are having difficulty sustaining relationships is "Safe People" by Townsend and Cloud. I am currently going through a Bible Study with some ladies and we are using this book as our guide. There is alot of great information about boundaries and how to identify traits in others who may be unsafe for us. If you get a chance, check this one out.

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