~I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut.--Revelation 3:8~

This Month's Thoughts for:

Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.

Psalm 43:3 NIV

Body-Now that all of the holiday celebrations are nearly over, it's time to look at taking care of ourselves. If you haven't already been, you need to find the right balance in life so that you can have time for exercise and to strengthen yourself.

Mind-Whether you're a student or a graduate, it's never too late to learn something new. Keep your eyes and ears open so that you may find guidance through God's word.

Spirit-Take time each day to pray and talk to God. He hears you.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Interesting tidbits from books I've been reading...

As always, I like to share the good stuff when I find it. Some of the books I have been reading include:

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
It's Not You, It's Him by Dr. Georgia Witkin
10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Lest you think I'm the strangest married woman you've ever seen, I have to explain, I've been reading these for the Women's Group Meeting that is coming up in February. Our topic is Building Better Relationships and I wanted to gain a broader perspective about the subject by reading a broad range of opinions.

In any case, one thing I found that was pretty good was in the Greg Behrendt book. It's an easy-to-read digest that details many of the excuses or ploys used by men to get out of a relationship. Or at least that's how I read it. At the end of each chapter, Behrendt and co-author Liz Tuccillo include little nuggest like this one:

Regarding being too busy to call...

'100% of men polled said they've never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. As one fine man said, "A man has got to have his priorities."'

I like it! It rings true. I wish I had learned this lesson a long time ago. Granted, it's not something I have to worry about now, but it would have saved me so much heartache.

In Dr. Georgia Witkin's book, It's Not You, It's Him, she provides lots of great advice on learning to trust yourself and being comfortable with who you are. One of the best pieces of wisdom I picked up here was, "Don't apologize for being single." This, too, is great advice. When I was single, I never felt like I had to be part of a couple in order to matter. I did feel that something was missing, but not in terms of my self-worth. I think it is important that a woman feels like she's somebody, especially when she's single. Don't pin all of your worth on how "coupled up" you can get! I recommend this book to any woman who struggles with self-esteem issues and pressures from others to find a mate.

For those of you who haven't read or heard Dr. Laura Schlessinger, I have to tell you, you're missing out. She may seem to have a very stern demeanor and you might even think she's unbearably judgemental. But, if you take a few moments to digest some of what she is saying, you'll see that it's really just tough love. She truly understands what women need to be doing for themselves in order to overcome adversity. She's a huge proponent of "getting over it" and taking the right actions to fix problems in your life. Taking responsibility for the things we do is one of the first steps towards accepting who we are and growing our self-esteem. In the book 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, she says of depression, "In depression we simply come to accept a situation in a passive-submissive way. It is far healthier to rise up against the injustice and demand redress or change. It is far healthier to walk out in the face of prolonged lack of redress or change."

You tell 'em, doc. This is why I like her. She tells it like it is and she's not afraid to let you know when you are acting without backbone.

From these three books I gained insights into a common theme, "You must develop your sense of self-worth in order to find healthy relationships." If we learn nothing else, this one thing is crucial to our happiness. Our relationship choices have a long-standing impact on our self-esteem, on our children's self-esteem and so on and so on. When we are able to make choices from a place of strength instead of a place of desparation, we are doing the best possible thing for everyone involved.

Have you read any good books lately? We'd love to hear from you! As always, you can send your ideas and suggestions to us confidentially by clicking here. Or you can leave a comment at the end of the post.

Thanks for stopping by!

1 comment:

The Wise Weight Woman said...

I just want to add my 2¢ worth about Dr. Laura. Sometimes, I cannot bear to hear her jump on people on her radio show, but I just read one of her books and Rebecca is right: Dr. Laura is a tough love writer and her books make a lot of sense. There's a really good reason she's been on the Top Seller List for six books! This is no small accomplishment.

Pat Matson

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Healthy Relationships: Where do you fit in?

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12 New International Version

In relationships, we are all put to the test in one way or another. Whether we are being taught a lesson in trusting others or in learning to love selflessly, we must always be on the lookout for signs that the enemy is lurking nearby. Sometimes what we think might be one of God's tests for us is actually our own ego struggling to overpower His influence in our lives.

If you are fighting constantly over the same issues with your significant other, take a step back and ask yourself, "What would God want me to do here?" It could be that He wants you to take enough pride in yourself to stand up for your right to be respected in the relationship. Maybe you need to step up and express your dissatisfaction with the way you are being treated in order to make your loved one understand what you need. Or maybe you are with someone who is treating you unfairly and God wants you to guard your heart.

If your usual tendency is to run away from a relationship when you aren't 100% satisfied with the other person's behavior, this could be an indicator that you aren't being realistic in your expectations. No one is perfect and learning to love one another's flaws as well as one's gifts is part of a healthy relationship.

A great resource for you to check out if you are having difficulty sustaining relationships is "Safe People" by Townsend and Cloud. I am currently going through a Bible Study with some ladies and we are using this book as our guide. There is alot of great information about boundaries and how to identify traits in others who may be unsafe for us. If you get a chance, check this one out.

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